Social Anxiety

If you know me, you’re probably aware that I’m a little shy around people I don’t know. I try to avoid situations that involve large groups of unknown people. In fact, joining in a group conversation with people I know is even daunting for me. Yet somehow I just picked a new career that seems to require numerous interactions with groups of people I’ve never met.

At the beginning of the month I attended an SCBWI holiday party. For some reason it didn’t occur to me that I was putting myself into another of these group situations that I dislike until I was walking into the party. Then I had this thought of, “Oh crap! What am I doing here?” So I calmly advised myself to get a drink. Then at least I’d have something to hold on to.

As I was turning away from the refreshment table, I glanced at the nametag of the woman standing next to me. I realized that she’s part of the second critique group that I joined but hadn’t met with yet. I very awkwardly said something like, “I think I know you. I mean, I think you’re in my critique group. Or rather, I’m in your critique group.” Wow. I must have really impressed her with my smooth conversational style. Thankfully she is very nice and spent some time talking to me.

I was somewhat comforted to discover that I was not the most awkward person in the room. People always talk about how socially inept engineers are, but it turns out that some writers rival them. I suppose part of it may be the nature of the situations where writers meet: large conferences/meetings/parties/workshops where most of the people have never met before.

Most conversations begin with something like, “Are you a writer, illustrator, or both?” or “What do you write?” Then these questions are followed up with, “Do you have an agent?” or “Are you published?” Sometimes conversation flows smoothly, but not always. At the holiday party I was asked, “What do you like best about writing picture books?” For some reason this completely tongue-tied me. I think part of it was that the guy asking was not able to maintain a normal level of eye contact (i.e. no blinking, intent staring). I also talked to a woman who asked me if I had children. So of course I asked her if she had children. She was like, “NO! Are you kidding me I can’t STAND children.” Hmmm…interesting that she writes children’s books. I guess no matter how awkward and uncomfortable I am, there is probably someone in the room who is in worse shape than me.

What I’m reading: I finished reading Lost in Shangri-la and Miss Peregrine’s Home for Unusual Children. I enjoyed both of them. I also read Divergent by Veronica Roth. It was pretty entertaining, but there were some things that bothered me about the story (perhaps they’ll be explained in the later books). I am almost finished with Call the Midwife. And now I’m reading Confederates in the Attic by Tony Horwitz. I found this book in a box of free books on the sidewalk. Who can pass up free books? Not me!

I've Got Fans!

They might all be friends and family, but I’ve got blog fans! It’s so nice to have an *adoring* audience, even if it’s small. Everyone starts somewhere, right? Check out this amazing birthday present I got from an awesome friend!

Yes! My blog is immortalized on a shirt!

My critique group met again this week and I was excited to learn that they all thought I’d done a good job with my revisions. I think the consensus is that my story is getting pretty close to submission ready. Now I just have to learn to write an amazing query letter to go with it.

I’ve been reading up on writing effective query letters and it turns out they’re a little different than I was imagining. The first part of the letter really reads like a book jacket—it makes you want to read the book. I spent hours yesterday reading a blog called Query Shark. The author of the blog is an agent who accepts submissions of query letters for critique. As a reader, you get to see her suggestions for improvements as well as how the suggestions were incorporated (or not) into revisions. She’s super-direct and often pretty funny in her commentary.

I’m still having some trouble figuring out how to deal with writing a query for a picture book. Most of the information I’ve come across deals with novels. So a query for a novel might include three paragraphs about the story. This of course doesn’t make sense for a picture book since it’s so much shorter. It seems like it’s going to be really hard to tell enough, but not too much. I definitely have my work cut out for me.I finally subbed at the school down the street for me. The people at this school are so nice! The secretary actually walked me to the classroom and then introduced me to a few teachers. Then the principal stopped by the classroom to introduce herself and welcome me. The kids were really nice too and a lot of them came to me at the end of the day to thank me for being their sub. It was very sweet.

What I’m Reading: Call the Midwife is getting better. I think, but I’m not sure, that the author’s writing has improved since the beginning of the book. Lost in Shangri-la is pretty interesting. The author chose to include a lot of information about WWII that doesn’t relate directly to the story he’s telling, but I think it really adds to the book. I started reading Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, a young adult novel by Ransom Riggs, based on a recommendation from a friend. It is quite an unusual book both in story and format. It has all these photos that go along with the story (Yes! A picture book for teens!). Anyway, I’m really enjoying it so far.

Writing Is Hard

Today is a “writing is hard” day. Some days are “writing is easy” days. I learned this concept from an insightful friend regarding running, but I find that it applies to many things. A “writing is hard day” usually involves staring blankly at the computer screen. It can involve skimming through manuscripts and assuring yourself there’s nothing you can do to make them better. It often involves getting up to walk around and then sitting back down with determination. Or it could involve online shopping for Christmas presents. And blogging, ironically, frequently occurs on “writing is hard” days. Between having some “writing is hard” days and being sick, I haven’t written a lot in the last few weeks.

I do not recommend getting up at 5 a.m. and driving from Oakland to Long Beach on Thanksgiving Day while sick. It sucks. Especially when the weather goes from lovely Bay Area fall temperatures in the 60s to 90 degrees during the course of the drive. I actually had to change into shorts in the car. So gross. But the excellent food and company did kind of make up for it. By the way, if you’ve never had turkey AND beef for Thanksgiving, I highly encourage you to try it. This meat combo caused me to sing that Meghan Trainor song with some substitutions: “Because you know I’m all about that beef, ‘bout that beef, no turkey”. The humor was lost on my boyfriend, who had never heard the song before. No one appreciates me around here.

After living in Pasadena last year when it just didn’t rain, I’ve been delighted with the amount of precipitation in Oakland. I’ve been putting my rain boots and umbrella to good use and thinking that rain is glorious. However, while it was dumping rain yesterday morning, I happened to look out at our balcony. It looked like a swimming pool. The water level kept rising until it was almost level with the sliding glass door. I realized that the balcony must have a drain and I wondered if it was clogged. So I put on my rain boots and stepped into the pool. The water was almost ankle deep. And I discovered that the drain was indeed clogged with leaves. I cleared the leaves with my hands and watched the pool get sucked down the drain, gurgling as it went. I felt super-heroic. It’s a good thing I didn’t sub yesterday or our apartment would have flooded.

What I’m reading: I finished How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents. It was OK, but kind of frustrating mostly because it ended suddenly. I read Bossy Pants by Tina Fey. It was interesting and entertaining, but I was disappointed that it wasn’t funnier. I started reading non-fiction book called Lost in Shangri-La by Mitchell Zuckoff. It’s about a US military plane that crashes in New Guinea during WWII. It’s pretty good so far. And I’m still reading Call the Midwife.

The Critique Group

After what felt like years of waiting, my writing critique group finally met for the first time. Between introductions, critiquing, and moving cars out of two-hour parking spots, our meeting lasted for over four hours! There are six of us and we are all working on picture book manuscripts, although some of the writers also write for other age groups. Each of us submitted one manuscript to the group prior to the meeting. So when we arrived, we each received five copies of our own manuscript with comments from every member.

We each had a turn in which someone else read our manuscript out loud. Then each member got a few minutes to elaborate on their commentary of the story. It was so interesting to hear everyone’s reactions and to notice similarities as well as contradictory advice. The difficult part is that you can’t take everyone’s advice. You have to figure out what resonates with you and then go with that. When you look at people’s suggestions, it makes you realize which story elements you’re attached to and which ones you aren’t. I feel like the story I’ve been working on the most is getting better and shorter (which is good) with each revision. I hope I have the clarity to know when it’s at its finest and be able to stop revising there. Or at least stop until an agent or editor requests further revisions…

I started working again on one of the first stories I ever wrote. It’s a non-fiction story and I decided to add a rhyming element to it. So each page will have a rhyming quatrain and then a paragraph in prose. I’ve never tried to write in rhyme before (other than in high school where I was forced to write some really terrible rhyming poetry. I mean, I wasn’t forced to write terrible poetry, I just happened to write terrible poetry). I was surprised by how much fun I had with creating rhymes. It feels to me like solving a puzzle that has more than one solution. I definitely need some more practice if I want to try to sell this story. It’s really difficult to get rhyming books published unless they are high quality.

My birthday was yesterday and it was pretty fun. In addition to completing my Birthday Challenge (read all about it here), I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and my brother. We got some really excellent Peruvian food. I’d never eater Peruvian food before, but I will definitely be going back for more. We had some incredible tuna and halibut ceviche, a potato croquette filled with seafood, a chicken stew with potatoes and rice (potatoes and rice are married in my food fantasy world), and beef with tomatoes and onions. Yum! I also got to have a pre-birthday dinner last weekend with my boyfriend’s mom and I’ll be having some post-birthday feasting this weekend with a few friends. It’s amazing I still have my girlish figure…

My new and improved "I-don't-stick-out-my-tongue-now-I-suck-in-my-lips" climbing face

What I’ve been reading: I’m still reading Call the Midwife. It’s OK, but it’s disappointing compared to the show (I can hardly believe I’m saying that since it’s usually the other way around). I understand that Jennifer Worth wrote the book because there are so few midwives in literature. The documentation of her career is certainly interesting. But I think her goal in writing the book was quite different from the goal of the show. Part of this is that the show does a really good job of bringing the characters to life and expressing the drama of the various situations. Every single episode of the show made me cry. The book does not make me want to cry. I’m only about 2/3 of the way through, so I’m not sure yet if I’d recommend reading it. I got a few free books on my iBooks app. The first book was a mistake. Pretty Little Liars by Sara Shepard was just awful (although I couldn’t stop reading it). It ended with me shouting aloud, “Are you joking?!?” I will not be reading the other books in this series. One of the other books I got is How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents by Julia Alvarez. It’s pretty good so far and I’m about halfway through it. I have stopped reading Ivanhoe.

@SerenaGingold

Where does the time go? I mean seriously. It was just October and suddenly we’re in the second week of November…

My boyfriend and I dressed up for Halloween as famous artists and went to the Oakland Museum of California for their weekly Friday night shindig. They have half price admission and food trucks that gather outside. It was pretty deserted, probably due to the fact that it had rained for most of the day, but we still had fun.

Vincent and Frida together at last

 I subbed two days in fifth grade classes at different schools. The take-away is that subbing in upper grades in usually pretty easy (kind of like babysitting because the kids are pretty good at independent work) but damn, fifth graders can smell bad!

On the writing front, I went to an SCBWI county meeting and heard three authors speak about their road to getting published. Their stories were interesting and so different from each other. I also had the chance to have a long-distance phone critique with the mom of two of my former students (she’s a children’s writer and an actor, not to mention being the mom of two amazing kids). She gave me some really amazing feedback for the story I’m getting ready for submission. She also told me that she just sold two early readers that she wrote! I’m so excited for her. Since the conversation I’ve been working on revising my story and I think it’s really improved. And next week is the first meeting of the new critique group that I joined. There are six members so far and we’ve exchanged stories for critique via email. It’s so interesting to read other people’s work. I can’t wait to meet the writers in person and see what they think about my story.

Oh, and one last thing. I set up a Twitter account! Now you can follow me wherever I go: @SerenaGingold. So far I have one follower (thanks Bekah! @InkNpaperz). 

What I’ve been reading: I finished The Magician’s Assistant and I was not impressed. The story line just wasn’t for me. I finally started reading Call the Midwife: a Memoir of Birth, Joy, and Hard Times by Jennifer Worth. It’s written in what I consider to be an unusual style. It’s hard to tell, but I don’t know that I’d really be enjoying it if I hadn’t already watched the show. I also read Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher in one day. It was hard to put down. If you like YA, you should read it. I thought it was terrific. I picked up Ivanhoe by Sir Walter Scott, but I’m not entirely sure I can deal with reading it. I haven’t gotten far, but it’s incredibly boring and seriously long-winded.

No Is Not a Four-Letter Word

I really need to keep reminding myself that no is not a four-letter word and that it’s OK to use it when people ask me to take multi-day subbing assignments. The four days I spent in first grade last week were a good reminder of why I only like single-day assignments.

Monday was absolutely chaotic the whole day and I was utterly exhausted by the end of it. The class I was in had had two or three different subs the week before and the kids were already out of control the minute school started. I discovered that the subs from the week before basically hadn’t taught anything. This was problematic because I was supposed to assess the kids on math that they hadn’t yet learned. So I scrambled for the first two days to teach all of the missing lessons.

I assessed the little darlings in math and writing, conducted a science experiment, settled “I’m not your friend anymore” disputes, etc. It was just like having my own class again. So in other words it was a total nightmare. Just when I was about to begin suffering symptoms of PTSD, the four days were up.

Now the teacher I subbed for loves me. The room mom gave me a thank you card and chocolates. The principal loves me. And the secretary told me she was going to put me on speed dial. You’d think I’d be elated. Instead I want to run for the hills. I actually just want to slide under the radar and not be noticed. Because then it’s easier to use my favorite not-four-letter word.

The whole point of subbing was to have time to write and to not be burdened by the stress of teaching. But once I’m in the same classroom for several days, school is all I can think about. I have issues. I know.

At the end of the week of subbing, I had to go to the orientation for the other district I’ll be working for. You’d think an orientation would involve learning about the job and/or the district. Instead I learned that the presenter is a menopausal single mom. I learned about every job she’s held in the district for the past 25 years. I learned that her daughter is in grad school and her son didn’t go to college. Oh, and I learned that you should show up for your job on time and that you shouldn’t bring anything valuable to school that isn’t attached to your body. And of course, I had to go get fingerprinted again. Someday soon, they might even inform me that they’ve hired me.

Needless to say, my writing career has been suffering that last few weeks. I’ve resolved to only sub two days a week. I figure this will give my life some structure and responsibility. And it will make my “free” time seem more precious.

Climbing has been going pretty well. Last week I actually made it to the gym three times. It’s been a long time since I climbed that much. I’m trying to build my strength and stamina for my birthday challenge this year. I’m still trying to work out the details, but I think it might involve going to three different gyms and climbing either 36 boulder problems at each of them or problems worth 36 points at each of them (so a VO would be worth 1 point, a V1 worth 2 points, etc.).

Before

After

What I’ve been reading: I finished reading East of Eden. It was terrific. Not only is it well written but it’s a tremendous story. I also finished An Abundance of Katherines, which I thought was pretty funny and entertaining. It’s probably the only fiction book I've ever read that contains footnotes. And because I’d read John Green’s other three novels, I decided to devour Paper Towns too. It was also quite good, in classic John Green style. Now I’m reading The Magician’s Assistant by Ann Patchett. I’m not quite sure where this book is headed yet, but it’s pretty good so far.

Starring Yours Truly As "The Substitute"

I finally accepted a sub job on Tuesday for a kindergarten class. I walked to the school since parking there sucks. When I arrived the office was not open yet, so I wandered around for a minute until I found someone in the copy room. She brought me to the principal’s office and then to the classroom. When I walked in, I immediately noticed that everything on the walls was in Spanish (apparently it’s a dual language immersion school). Then I discovered there wasn’t a lesson plan. So I went back to find the principal who put me in touch with another kindergarten teacher who gave me an emergency lesson plan (basically a bunch of stacks of worksheets).

When I went back to the room I was subbing in, the teacher was there, trying to write a last minute lesson plan. She finished the “plan”, handed it to me and left. The “plan” had no times on it and not really any details about what to do either. So I spent the day trying to use the “plan”, the emergency lessons, and the schedule on the board (which was in Spanish and had the wrong times). Ugh. I was so glad when the day was over. After one day, I was already thinking, “What am doing subbing? Why did I think this was going to be fun?”

But then I valiantly (or stupidly) accepted two more jobs for the week, both fourth grade but at two different schools. The two days in fourth grade went really well for the most part. Both teachers left detailed lesson plans that were easy to follow and included, of all things, the times that things should happen. On the down side, in the first class a boy “dyed” his hair with this hair chalk stuff right in the middle of class while I was helping someone with their work. And in the second class, I was leading the line of kids and walking backward, then turned around and walked right into a tree. The hazards of being a teacher…

I also accepted a four-day job to sub for a first grade teacher. The principal at one of the schools I was at asked me if I was available next week and of course I said yes (because I don’t know how to say no).

In addition to subbing in this district, I want to sub in another local district too. So I applied a while ago and finally went to this job fair thing at their district office where they interviewed me. Now I have an orientation next Friday, so I guess that means they’re hiring me (although I haven’t officially been informed of this).

I try to plan a few fun outings each month with my boyfriend to do things like go to museums or shows or whatever else seems like it’ll be fun. One of our outings this month was to Middle Harbor Shoreline Park in Oakland. It’s this park right in the middle of the port of Oakland. I’ve been a little obsessed with shipping cranes lately due to a story I’m writing, so I really wanted to get a good view of the cranes. The park was really nice and we actually got to watch some of the airshow that’s part of Fleet Week in the city. But I couldn’t get as close to the cranes as I wanted to and none of them were operating. Two enormous container ships did go by as we watched. They were so big they looked like they won’t fit under the Bay Bridge. It was pretty amazing to see them.

We also went out to Alcatraz, both to do the prison tour and to see the art installation @Large by Chinese artist and activist, Ai Weiwei. I saw some of his art at a Toronto museum last summer and I was impressed. I really liked With Wind (this enormous dragon kite), Trace (the faces of dissidents around the world made out of Legos), and Refraction (this amazing sculpture made out of solar panels). Info about @Large

With Wind

Trace

What I’m reading: I finished Looking for Alaska and I really liked it (not as much as The Fault in Our Stars, but it’s a good read). I was at Costco last week and was jumping up and down and whooping (not literally, just in my head) when I found a 4-pack of John Green books. So now I’m devouring An Abundance of Katherines, which is excellent so far. I’m about three-quarters of the way through East of Eden. I’m loving this book too.

Meet My Character

I’ve been tagged to answer a few questions about a character I’ve created by my amazing friend, Bekah Berge. It took me a minute to figure out that this is basically the modern equivalent of a chain letter from days of yore. However, a tag, unlike a chain letter, cannot be torn into tiny bits and eaten in order to avoid passing it on (true story). Just so you know, my character lives in a picture book aimed at 6-8 year old children. So here goes…

1. What is the name of your character? Is he/she a fictional or historical person?
Ty is the main character in this story. He is fictional, but I see a little of myself in him.
                                                   
2. When and where is the story set?
This story is contemporary and takes place in a town/city somewhere, but the characters are anthropomorphic.

3. What should we know about him/her?
Ty is a nerdy, horn-rimmed glasses wearing T-Rex who carries a pocket dictionary around with him wherever he goes. He doesn’t have friends because no one understands him (literally). He likes to use big words that he’s learned from reading the dictionary.

4. What is the main conflict? What messes up his/her life?
Ty wins the class spelling bee and his prize is to get a treat with his teacher and a friend. But he doesn’t have any friends…

5. What is the personal goal of the character?
Ty spends the story doing his best to make friends with other dinosaurs so he doesn’t have to be embarrassed when he shows up alone to have his treat with his teacher.

6. Is there a working title for this novel?
Yes, but it's a surprise. It's a made up word describing the type of dinosaur Ty is.

7. When can we expect the novel to be published?

You never know, maybe I’ll win the agent/publisher finding lottery and it will happen soon. But it is currently nowhere near being published.

And now I tag another superb writer, Yamile Mendez.

Hard Drive Woes

Last Tuesday I went to Peet’s to write. I ordered my coffee, found a cozy armchair to sit in, fired up the old laptop, and connected to Wi-Fi. Suddenly a restart warning appeared on the screen and my computer shut down. And then, instead of restarting, it informed me that it was unable to boot. I stared blankly at the screen. I told myself to be calm. I explained to myself that I should just try turning it off and then on again. I felt the panic rising in my chest. I suck at the routine maintenance that technological devices require. Sync my iPhone? Who needs that? Back up my documents and photos? Who’s got time?

Well, I’ve hopefully learned my lesson the hard way. My computer failed to restart because the hard drive crashed. So I lost everything recent on my computer. The last backup appears to have been done about two years ago (just for the record, that’s when I got my current computer). Fortunately all my writing is saved on Dropbox. And a lot of other important stuff is on Google Docs. But I may be missing some photos and whatever other random stuff I’ve done on the computer for the past two years. A lot of the photos were still on my phone, thanks to me sucking at taking them off permanently when I saved them to the computer (See? Sometimes there are perks to not preforming proper maintenance).

Thanks to my rockstar boyfriend, my laptop is back up and running again. He replaced the hard drive, re-installed all of the programs, got the pictures off my phone, found my old backup, etc., etc. And because I suck at all the routine maintenance stuff, I’ve begged him to periodically backup things for me. Some days I hate technology.

I have three critique group “dates” set up now. One is with a woman who is looking to rejoin a group, one is with a group that has already been meeting for a while, and one is with a group that is just starting. I’m fine with the first and third “dates”, but the one with the group that’s already active makes me totally anxious. It’s like sitting down at the lunch table with a clique you don’t belong to. Will they like you? Hate you? Bah!! I just keep reminding myself that it doesn’t really matter. If we mesh then we mesh. And if not, I have two other “dates” that may be better.

We finally got a membership at the local climbing gyms here. There are four Touchstone gyms nearby: one in Berkeley, one in Oakland, and two in San Francisco. We tried out the Berkeley gym over the weekend. It was decent, but not as nice as the Touchstone gym we’d been climbing at in LA. But it’ll be nice to belong to a gym again. And being a member gives me access to yoga (which I haven’t been able to do since I injured my shoulder) and fitness classes.

I finally got added to the sub system in the district that hired me, but I haven’t picked up a job yet. It’s nice not having to sub if I don’t want to because it means I can be picky about the schools/grades I choose. No more subbing in high school and middle school. Woohoo!

The Bridge to Bridge race was on Sunday. My friend came to visit and to run the race too. We both did really well. I ran the 12K in two minutes more than it’s been taking me to run 6.5 miles. So that was pretty exciting. But it still did not inspire me to run seriously again. Running is fun, but I’d rather climb.

What I’m reading: East of Eden by John Steinbeck and Looking for Alaska by John Green. They are both awesome so far. I fell in love with John Green’s writing when I read The Fault in Our Stars (which I highly recommend). And I’ve long been a Steinbeck fan. With both of these books I hardly want to put them down. Call the Midwife has been put on hold for a bit.

A Little of This, A Little of That

On Saturday we arrived home from a weeklong trip back to Pasadena. My boyfriend’s brother and his wife were awesome enough to have us as their houseguests for our entire visit. While my boyfriend worked on a conference paper, I gallivanted around town visiting friends and shopping.

It was weird going back to Pasadena because when we got there we had only been gone for three weeks. Going around town I felt like I still lived there. And now that we’re back in Oakland, I feel like I never left here. Perhaps I’m just losing it.

Appropos of nothing, a random pic
from an office door at Caltech...
Three cheers for the X-Files!

Anyway, it was a super fun trip. I got to meet my dear friend’s brand new baby daughter. Every day I met up with friends who I used to work with and I stuffed my face with frozen yogurt and lots of tasty food. I went bouldering with a friend and was happy that I’m still strong enough to make it up some slightly challenging climbs despite the fact that it’s been a month since I last climbed.  I also got to have coffee with one of the friends I made at the SCBWI conference. We spent a few hours chatting about life and writing. It’s so nice to talk to someone who understands exactly how you feeling about the work you do.

My boyfriend started his new job today and I feel like I’m officially starting my new not-full-time-employed life. Last week, I got hired to sub in a local school district, so I went in today to pick up my new hire packet. I had to get fingerprinted (for the umpteenth time). It’s funny to me that districts aren’t allowed to share your fingerprints with each other because if I committed a crime, I’m sure they’d share them with law enforcement. I’m not quite sure when I get to start subbing, but maybe next week. I hope I like it as much as I did in the last district I subbed for.

Now that this new chapter in my life has officially begun, it’s time to buckle down and get serious about my writing. I’m currently looking for a critique group to join. I had avoided doing this in Pasadena because I didn’t want to make a commitment to a group and then move away.  But it’s something that I think is invaluable for a writer.

In lieu of a critique group, I sent my most polished story to a few friends who write and/or work with books hoping for some good feedback. I also sent this story to a guy I met at the SCBWI conference. We were standing in line waiting for Judy Schachner’s autograph and somehow the topic of teaching came up. He was very excited that I taught first grade because he’s writing a book about first grade. While we waited in line, he picked my brain about all things first grade. When we were rudely interrupted by Judy Schachner wanting to sign our books, we exchanged email addresses. I sent him a bunch of information about the first grade experience. He was grateful for my input and offered to read something I had written.

After reading my story he responded with some really great ideas to improve it. Some of his recommendations were things I hadn’t thought about, while other things were ideas I had played with, but wasn’t sure how good they were. This is why I want to join a critique group. Writing is such a solitary occupation that it’s easy to forget that someday people will read what you write. Working with other writers helps you to clarify your ideas and tighten up your story. I hope I find a good group to work with soon.

What I’m reading:  I finished reading The Bright Forever. Overall it was pretty good and I enjoyed how the story was told. It went back and forth between first person narratives from several characters and chapters written in the third person. I’m starting East of Eden by John Steinbeck and I’m supposed to be reading Call the Midwife by Jennifer Worth with a friend, but I have failed to start reading it yet. 

Fix and Fancy It Up

After getting mostly settled in to the new apartment, I got a case of the home improvements. Suddenly I had the overwhelming urge to make new placemats and napkins. I needed a set of six immediately. The two we had were clearly not enough for all the entertaining I’m apparently planning to do. And the dining chairs needed new cushion fabric straightaway. So off to the fabric store I went.

I have already rewritten history in my head because I was going to say that the placemat/napkin project went off without a hitch, but that’s a lie. I miscalculated how much fabric I needed and came up about six inches short. So back to the fabric store I went. Aside from that, things went well.
 

Both the napkins and placemats are reversible

The chairs on the other hand were a different matter. I bought the fabric and then decided that as long as I was replacing the fabric I should really replace the foam as well. So off to the foam store we went. Then I decided that the chairs were looking pretty dirty. I started cleaning them only to discover that I took off some of the finish from the wood. Or perhaps the finish had disappeared years ago and dirt was masking the bare wood. Anyway, once I was down to bare wood I clearly needed to refinish the chairs.

Off to Home Depot we went to pick out sanding supplies and paint. I love refinishing furniture, I thought. We should just buy a bunch of old furniture for cheap so that I can refinish it, I thought. Wrong. Wrong. And one more WRONG just for good measure. Refinishing furniture sucks. After hours of sanding I had only finished one chair. My triceps were killing me. And there were still three chairs to sand. Not to mention all four chairs still needed paint. Don’t get me started on paint.

Did you know that latex paint is fast drying? You probably did. That’s why I picked it out. It dries fast and it cleans with water. Here’s what I didn’t know about latex paint. It dries from the outside in. That means that it’s dry to the touch within minutes. It also means that it takes a long time to cure (dry all the way to the inside). You know how long? 30 days!! So I felt compelled to scramble and do all the sanding and painting as quickly as possible so that we could start using the chairs someday. After four full days of work, the chairs are now happily drying. And will be for three more weeks…

What I’m reading: I finished The Thorn Birds! It was thoroughly enjoyable. I’ve started read The Bright Forever by Lee Martin. For some reason I had a really hard time getting into the story, but I like it more now. There’s also another book that I’ve been reading FOREVER and probably will continue reading for the rest of time. It’s on my Kindle app on my phone and I only wind up reading it when I’m absolutely desperate. It’s called No Name and it’s by Wilkie Collins, who wrote The Woman in White (which I thought was a great story). Anyway, I started reading No Name quite a long time ago. It was so bad that I decided to not finish it. But then one day I was sitting somewhere waiting with nothing to do and I started reading it again. I only read it when I’m desperate, so it seems like it’s the longest book ever. It’s really only 390 pages, but it feels like it’s longer than Don Quixote. Anyway, if you’re ever tempted to get this book for your Kindle just because it’s free, don’t succumb to the urge. Free isn’t everything.

A Whirlwind

The past two weeks have simply flown by. I actually had to sit here and remind myself how long I've been living in Oakland. It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost two weeks since we moved in.

The actual moving part was relatively painless, as far as moving goes. Hiring movers was amazing! I highly recommend it, particularly if you don’t have to pay for them yourself. Despite skipping the physical work of moving, there was still a lot of mental work to do in terms of deciding where everything should go. And then once the movers left, we began the long, slow work of unpacking, organizing and arranging.
 

In the midst of unpacking

We got rid of a several car loads of stuff. It’s amazing how much junk two people can accumulate. Goodwill loves us now. Despite having shed many possessions, we still own quite a lot of stuff and there’s been an element of Tetris about putting things away. But the end is in sight now. We've found a place for almost everything.

The apartment itself is actually much nicer than we remembered it, plus they did some more renovating after we first saw it. There are new granite countertops and faucets in the kitchen and bathroom, and new sliding glass doors in the shower. The screen door leading to the balcony is new too. The kitchen is so much bigger than our old kitchen that it makes me quite happy. The stove is an ancient electric stove which I’m trying to get used to cooking on. I don’t miss the old stove we had, which dumped most of its heat into the kitchen instead of into the food, but I do miss gas burners.

Aside from the apartment being pretty nice, Rockridge is awesome. Our apartment is four houses up from College Avenue, which is just darling. There’s a Crossroads Trading Company (which is one of my favorite stores) on the corner. There are a couple of really good coffee shops just a few blocks away and every restaurant we've eaten at has been delicious. There’s a Trader Joe’s a couple of blocks away and a new Safeway is going in too.

Another huge bonus is that Lake Temescal is within running distance from our apartment. It’s about a three and a half mile run to get the lake, run around it, and run home. I love running by water! So I've been really enjoying this nice little run. There’s even an easy way to lengthen the run by a mile by doing a second loop around the lake on different path. I got so excited about running again that I signed up to do the Bridge to Bridge run with my friend.

What I’m reading: I finally finished Private Life by Jane Smiley. While I think highly of her writing style, I did not love the story. I enjoyed her book A Thousand Acres much more. I’m getting close to the end of The Thorn Birds. I've mostly been reading it in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep. I’m still really enjoying this book and I’m going to be a little sad when I’m done with it.

A Tale of Three Cities

If you want a recipe for sore knees and ankles, exhaustion, a headache and a little heartache, I have a great one. It’s called: Trying to Find an Apartment in the Bay Area on Short Notice. I actually don’t recommend this recipe to anyone. 

My boyfriend and I drove to San Francisco last Friday. We arrived and went to his new workplace so that he could sign his contract. Then we were immediately off to an apartment showing. 

We spent most of Saturday, Sunday, and Monday looking for a place. We traveled back and forth between San Francisco, Oakland and Berkeley. We walked uphill and downhill scouting neighborhoods. We struggled to find parking. 

I had never been to an apartment showing where I wasn’t the only person looking at the place. All but one showing had multiple people. There were sometimes up to 30 other people. It was crazy. We thought we were prepared, having printed out credit reports/scores, copied driver’s licenses, gotten a letter of recommendation from Caltech housing, etc. But boy were we wrong. Trying to fill out rental applications was painstaking and time consuming. There was quite a lot of information that we just hadn’t thought of bringing. Thank goodness for smartphones. 

It’s incredible how many expensive apartments there are that I would never consider living in. I’ve never seen such funky places for rent. Apartments tucked up under the eaves where anyone taller than me would have to duck in certain parts of the room. Apartments with transparent-glass bedroom windows. Apartments with curtains instead of doors.  It’s amazing we found anything in the end. 

I absolutely fell in love with an incredible two bedroom apartment on the top of Twin Peaks. It had everything we wanted and more. It was spacious, had extra storage, a garage space, and amazing views. What it didn’t have was accessibility to the rest of the city.

The Twin Peaks apartment is in the row of apartments in the foreground 

 Fortunately, we found an apartment in Rockridge (Oakland) that seemed like a dream come true when we walked in. Decent sized one bedroom, carport space, a balcony, laundry on site, easy access to BART, and tons of restaurants and shopping within a couple minutes of walking. Some downsides include a badly patched hole in the bedroom door, a torn screen door, and some peeling cabinets. It’s not an amazing apartment by any means, but the location is terrific. We told the agent immediately that we’d take it. And fortunately we were the only people at the showing.

Our new apartment is on the right on the second floor

 We filled out the rental application and rushed over to the rental office only to discover that we’d need a cosigner. Since neither of us has been employed for at least a year at the jobs we’ll have when we move, they require a cosigner. They would not accept Tom’s offer letter from his new job stating his income. They would not accept a check for six month’s rent. All I could think was WTF?! I’m a grown woman, who until recently had a very good job. I have a bunch of money in savings. I haven’t had a cosigner since college. Bleck. 

First, we tried to have my brother (who was coincidentally in Oakland for the day) cosign for us and we dragged him to a notary to fill out the paperwork. Then it turned out that our cosigner had to own property. So we wound up staying for half of the day on Tuesday to meet up with my boyfriend’s mom in San Rafael so she could cosign for us. She totally saved us and we got the apartment in the end. 

Between Wednesday morning and this afternoon (Saturday), we’ve managed to contract movers, go wait at the DMV to change our address so we can get parking permits when we arrive in Oakland, say goodbye to most of our friends, and pack almost all of our apartment. 

We have one more day to finish up packing and then the movers arrive on Monday morning. After that we are off to Oakland! 

What I’m reading: I’ve hardly had a minute to read, but I’ve been focusing on finishing Private Life. I’m almost done with it. The Thorn Birds is still being neglected, but I’ll soon have time to finish it as well.

A Whole New World

Today was the first day of school and of course I wasn't there. I expected to feel a little remorseful about my leave of absence, but all I felt was relief. I was also expecting to sleep last night without anxiety, but that did not happen. Instead, I lay awake for a long time stressing out. I was not stressing out about the first day of school like normal. Rather, I lay awake wondering which job my boyfriend was going to pick once he concluded negotiations. The final offer arrived via email this morning. We spent a few anxious hours debating the finer points of living in San Francisco versus Seattle. In the end we both chose San Francisco. Financially this wasn't the best choice, but I think overall we will both be much happier living there.

Now the real fun begins: trying to find an apartment in San Francisco that is both affordable and adequate before the end of the month! We are going to drive up tomorrow to start looking. My boyfriend has been obsessively scouring Craigslist for a while now, so that is helpful. But trying to find a place in the next 10 days seems daunting. Fingers crossed we find something quickly.

I'll be able to walk/ride BART/Muni to Bay to Breakers!!

 In the midst of this great upheaval, I've been working on editing and revising a story that I’d like to send to an agent soon. It’s pretty amazing how much easier it is to cut down on words after you've put a story away for a while. I know that everyone recommends this, but there are lots of things that people recommend that in practice seem less true. I was able to cut out about 150 words without even trying too hard. I've also asked a few people to read the story out loud. This is actually very interesting to listen to and I was quite pleased with the result. I think I wrote it in such a way that people are reading it the way I imagined. Now I’m working on some more revising and then I’m going to send it to a few writing friends for their feedback.

I've also been climbing more which has been great. I've still only gone to the gym, but I’m already starting to see progress. On my first day back bouldering I was only able to manage climbing a few V0s (the grade scale starts at V0 and goes up to V16). When I went to the gym a few days ago I was able to flash (climb on the first try) two V2s and a V3. I was pretty excited. My arm/shoulder was also quite sore afterwards, but I’m feeling better now. I’ll need to start hangboarding soon to build up my finger strength and of course I need to continue with my weight lifting.

What I’m reading: I finished The Care and Management of Lies by Jacqueline Winspear. This book was well written and a nice piece of historical fiction. But it just never sang to me. I've actually been enjoying part four of Private Life although it’s been making me sad because the main character seems to realize how unrewarding her life has been. I’m now about a third of the way through The Thorn Birds. It’s quite good and reminds me of the saga In the Land of the Long White Cloud by Sarah Lark. There are many parallels between her books and The Thorn Birds.

Fun in the Sun

The last five weeks have been a whirlwind of activity for me. It started out with a trip to the Bay Area to visit my brother and some dear old friends. I ate way too much food, went to Seabright beach in Santa Cruz, hiked at Wilder Ranch, shopped on Pacific Avenue, and attended a first birthday party.

Me and Heather at Wilder Ranch

 When I got home from my trip, my boyfriend’s mom had arrived for a visit. We spent a lot of time hanging out and eating delicious food. One afternoon we went on a tour of the Gamble House. It’s an amazing house built by the famous architect brothers, Greene and Greene, who built craftsman style homes right after the turn of the century. The quality of the workmanship was pretty stunning. I fell in love with the kitchen, which was gigantic. It’s hard to imagine living in a house like that. I would constantly feel like I was going to ruin something priceless.

 

Me, Goofy, and Annie (holding her first book,
The Quest of the Golden Python)

Then my BFF from high school came out from Texas for a quick visit. We went to Disneyland on the first day and then to the beach on the second day. Our trip to Disneyland was the shortest I’ve ever been on. I think we lasted six hours. It was really hot and the park was super crowded. But it was fun going to Disneyland together again. Our senior class trip was to Disneyland so it had been quite a while since we had gone together.

After my BFF left, I had a few days to rest and then I was off to the SCBWI conference. And then my boyfriend’s stepmom and little sister came to visit from Vermont. We ventured to the beach, went shopping, ate a lot of ice cream, and cooked a bunch of delicious dinners. It’s been a few years since we’d seen them so there was a lot of catching up to do.

I’ve noticed a common theme running through the summer—eating! It is one of my favorite things to do, so I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised.

Overall, I’ve had a great summer. But sadly, in the next few weeks I need to transition out of summer mode and back to the real world.

What I’m reading: I’m still working on The Care and Management of Lies (which I need to hurry up and finish since it’s a Kindle library loan) and Private Life. I like Private Life more now because I think I understand why the author has focused a lot of the story on Andrew, the husband (I’ve found these parts to be boring). I believe she’s attempting to make the reader understand what the wife, Margaret (the main character), has to deal with. Andrew’s life completely dominates Margaret’s and she seems to exist merely to support him in his endeavors. I’m looking forward to reading the last third of the book. And someday I’ll get back to reading The Thorn Birds…

Sleepless in Pasadena

You might be a writer if…

…you awake at 4 a.m. with the perfect sentence in your mind that you just have to roll over to type hastily into the notepad on your iPhone, hoping not to wake your sleeping boyfriend beside you.

This sort of episode happens with some regularity. Sometimes it’s a sentence. Sometimes it’s a title for a story I haven’t even started writing. And sometimes it’s an idea for a story or a character.

Bibs I made for my friend's baby one sleepless night...

I often fall back asleep after my early morning spurts of genius, but not today. After struggling for an hour to keep my eyes closed, I finally conceded the point that sleep was a losing battle. So after eating some cold tri-tip and swilling some hot decaf, here I am, at 5:45 a.m., giving in to writing once again. I guess I don’t always give in to writing when I can’t sleep. Sometimes I give in to reading. Or sewing.

While I was tossing and turning, I realized that I can now put my arm under my pillow without pain anymore. I haven’t been able to do this since I tore my labrum bouldering last June. My recovery from the biceps tenodesis surgery to fix the tear seems close to finished.

Not only can I put my arm under my pillow, I can climb again too. In the past two weeks I've gone to the gym three times. I started out with a top roping session. I was so nervous that I wouldn't be able to get myself up the wall. I definitely noticed my lack of strength, but my shoulder felt good and I was able to climb without thinking about it too much. Pre-surgery I was climbing really awkwardly because I didn't have full range of motion and certain moves hurt. I climbed a bunch of routes in the 5.6 to 5.9 range and didn't fall or sit once.

My second gym session was a mix of top roping and bouldering, which led to a third session that was strictly bouldering. I was reminded just how hard bouldering is. The low end of bouldering grades is so much more difficult than the low end of roped climbing grades.

I’m really looking forward to getting stronger and climbing hard again. It’s been a struggle for me to go without climbing for four months. My life finally seems kind of normal again. Aside from the fact that I’m not going to be setting up a classroom next week and that I don’t know where we’ll be moving at the end of the month…

What I’m reading: I’m still working on The Thorn Birds, of which I've been neglectful. I've been focused on reading Private Life because I’m reading it along with a friend. It’s been a bit of a slog to be honest. I liked part one, but part two took some determination to finish. I’m hoping the rest of the book will catch my interest more. I've also read some more of The Care and Management of Lies. I am so in love with the Maisie Dobbs books by the same author, but I have yet to feel the magic with this book.

Back in the Saddle

Hello, world! I’m back in the bloggerverse with a new blog. I’m super excited to start blogging again. It’s been something I keep intending to do, but somehow I couldn't get myself to sit down and do it. I was finally inspired to start again after meeting two new friends at the SCBWI (Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators) conference. Both of these friends have blogs. I immediately thought: why am I not doing this too? So, ta-da! Here I am.

My new friends Yamile and Bekah

The SCBWI conference was incredible. I've been writing children’s picture books for less than a year now and I've felt completely alone. I’m not part of a writing critique group and until recently, no one else had read anything I wrote. Talk about going from 0 to 60 fast. I was suddenly surrounded by people who knew exactly what I was doing and what I've been going through with writing. No need to explain anything. And everyone I met was so friendly and warm and generous.

I got some amazing ideas for revising and editing my work, I learned how to talk to publishing professionals, and I got some insight into building stories out of art, etc. The keynote speakers were phenomenal and told motivational stories about their writing careers and gave some great advice. I heard Judy Blume (yes, the Judy Blume!), Tomie dePaola, Judy Schachner, Linda Sue Park, and Peter Brown, just to name a few.

              

Me and the great Judy Schachner!

On a side note, it turns out I’m apparently kind of a fan girl. After Judy Schachner’s awesome keynote, I saw her walking around the hotel where the conference was held. She walked past me and I froze and gasped and covered my mouth and whispered loudly, “That was Judy Schachner!!” On the last day of the conference, I actually got to meet her and talk to her for a minute while she autographed a book for me.

On the second day of the conference, I received my first rejection letter in the mail. It came at the perfect time because I was surrounded by people who have probably all gotten at least one rejection letter. My new friends understood exactly how I was feeling and that was really comforting.

The conference made me feel like I’m part of a community. Children’s book writers are smart, warm, funny, quirky people. I fit right in and felt an immediate sense of belonging.

What I’m reading: As usual I’m reading too many books at the same time. The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough, Private Life by Jane Smiley, and The Care and Management of Lies by Jacqueline Winspear.