If
you know me, you’re probably aware that I’m a little shy around people I don’t
know. I try to avoid situations that involve large groups of unknown people. In
fact, joining in a group conversation with people I know is even daunting for
me. Yet somehow I just picked a new career that seems to require numerous
interactions with groups of people I’ve never met.
At
the beginning of the month I attended an SCBWI holiday party. For some reason
it didn’t occur to me that I was putting myself into another of these group
situations that I dislike until I was walking into the party. Then I had this
thought of, “Oh crap! What am I doing here?” So I calmly advised myself to get
a drink. Then at least I’d have something to hold on to.
As I
was turning away from the refreshment table, I glanced at the nametag of the
woman standing next to me. I realized that she’s part of the second critique
group that I joined but hadn’t met with yet. I very awkwardly said something
like, “I think I know you. I mean, I think you’re in my critique group. Or
rather, I’m in your critique group.” Wow. I must have really impressed her with
my smooth conversational style. Thankfully she is very nice and spent some time
talking to me.
I
was somewhat comforted to discover that I was not the most awkward person in
the room. People always talk about how socially inept engineers are, but it
turns out that some writers rival them. I suppose part of it may be the nature
of the situations where writers meet: large
conferences/meetings/parties/workshops where most of the people have never met
before.
Most
conversations begin with something like, “Are you a writer, illustrator, or
both?” or “What do you write?” Then these questions are followed up with, “Do
you have an agent?” or “Are you published?” Sometimes conversation flows
smoothly, but not always. At the holiday party I was asked, “What do you like
best about writing picture books?” For some reason this completely tongue-tied
me. I think part of it was that the guy asking was not able to maintain a
normal level of eye contact (i.e. no blinking, intent staring). I also talked
to a woman who asked me if I had children. So of course I asked her if she had
children. She was like, “NO! Are you kidding me I can’t STAND children.” Hmmm…interesting
that she writes children’s books. I guess no matter how awkward and
uncomfortable I am, there is probably someone in the room who is in worse shape
than me.